Mother and Father Know Best
Comedy Is Not Petty

Talk Is Cheap. Very Cheap. Free, In Fact.

As my brother (and just about everyone else I've ever met) will tell you, I'm a talker. But serious as I take the fine art of lip-flapping, I can't claim to do it professional-like. I guess you'd say it's more an avocation for me -- or, as you moderners might put it, a "lifestyle."

Not so William Dufris. The man's a pro. So much so that I hear a goodly portion of my readers aren't really my readers at all: They're Bill's listeners. Meaning for them, a new Big Red/Old Red adventure isn't truly ready until Billy's read it out loud.

Mr. Dufris, you see, is the fellow who narrates all my books for Tantor Media. And I'm pleased to say he's taken his crack at The Crack in the Lens and done his usual top-rail job. This I know because the kind folks at Tantor just sent me a whole pile of "books on CD."

Now, as you might expect, I don't really need to listen to any of these all the way through, since I know how everything comes out in the end -- and believe me, having somehow survived that particular case the first time, I have no desire to live it through again. So I figure it's time for a giveaway.

Here's the deal: Be the first person to answer the question below correctly, and you'll receive your very own copy of the 8-CD CRACK IN THE LENS audio set. That's 10 hours of listening pleasure, absolutely free! (Well, I can't guarantee every single minute's going to be so all fired-up pleasurable. But it lasts 10 hours, anyway.)

Alrighty then. Ready? Wrap your noodle around this.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could NOT chuck wood?

And if you don't know anything about woodchucks, don't be intimidated. I'm betting you can make yourself a pretty decent guess....

Otto "Big Red" Amlingmeyer
August 23, 1893


Gary Thaden



Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Congrats, Gary -- impeccable logic. Shoot your mailing address to me at steve AT stevehockensmith DOT com, and I'll slap your audiobook in the mail ASAP....



Dang. I had the right answer too. And I looooooove Big Red read outloud to me.



Sorry, Plas -- better luck next time! Maybe you could have one of your plastic elves read CRACK to you....


Shanna Derringer

My life is worth nothing now that I've missed out on this opportunity. Fie!


Not true, Shanna, not true! There's always another giveaway right around the corner.

See? Something to live for!


valerie drake

How about the prize being the audio version of your NEXT book (when? when?) since I had already pre-ordered this book weeks ago?


Oh, wow, Valerie -- if only I *could* offer that as a prize right now. Cuz if I could, that would mean I could listen to it myself, transcribe it, and then spare myself the trouble of actually finishing writing it.

I hope that reply makes a nonsensical sort of way....


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